Summer with my daughter

Next weekend will bring to me the farewell between my daughter and i for weeks if not a month or two to come. Summer 2008 has been the first season i spend with my daughter of a year and four months. It has been a blessing. Surreal while So Real.

In this time i have watched her gain speed and balance on sturdier legs, increase her capacity to eat (MAN CAN SHE EAT!), open up to dancing on the drop of a beat, call me Papa and comply when i ask for a kiss. There were even a few instances in which she spoke very clear sentances; some of which she has never repeated again. Shit freaked me out when last week she asked my god son Jaimin "What's that?" in a voice i couldn't even recognize.

I expressed my thanks to my mother last night for supporting me through the past month. Because i work the days and live in the Bronx (In an apartment which doesn't suit a child *high staircase, no air conditioner and only one fan in the aptmnt) my mother took Nadia in. Throughout the week i would return there to stay with my daughter every other day and over the weekends. I have bathed her, fed her, slept with her, brushed her teeth and hair, dressed her, taken her for walks and to visit her aunt uptown. I got what i wanted: We've bonded! She knows i am her Daddy...

The toughest experience has been traveling with her through public transportation. She is difficult to deal with when confined and for her own safety i couldn't let her run around the train or bus. Then there is carrying the stroller up and down steps and having to fold it before boarding buses (Nuff props to all the mothers out there who have to do this on the daily!). That, and dealing with her skin condition: Eczima. She gets irritated in the heat, she gets irritated when she is tired, she gets irritated around the dog and dirt. It is frustrating tying to calm her, but i can only imagine how frustrating it has been for her. Unfortunately she got it from my side of the family. It has pained me watching her scratch in her sleep, drawing blood from her ankles, wrists, lower back... With that comes arguments with her mother about how to deal with it: me wary about constantly medicating her yet concerned that in my own paranoia she suffers.


This has truely been a tough summer though and i do have to say that God is good. Because if nothing else, having my daughter with me has kept a fire in my eye and continued to slap me awake when i've felt to slack off.
After quitting my job in June (for reasons i will explain another time), and seeking and seeking, i was pressured to accept the first offer that came my way and took a four dollar pay cut, which equals something like 150$ a week. Which is alot of money to lose when you need to support a child and pay bills. Forget about loans; they haven't been getting paid. I truely have been in an emergancy state, shifting between Staten Island and the Bronx and humbled by those who have supported me in this time with never a mention about the fact that i haven't been able to contribute to putting food in the fridge, or that i may have been behind on the rent.

In the meantime i feel stronger and stronger adjusting to this survival. Everyweek at work talk riles up for an afterwork drink on Friday. I simply duck my head into the paper or drawback to allow the conversation at hand, but unlike in the past, make no shame about having to duck out so that i can handle my priorities.

What keeps me going is my relationship with the struggle. I do not abandon it to accomodate any illusions about where i am. I breath deep and continue to grind at the lethargy, at the rejection, at the challenges. For example i was offered a teaching job then directed to the Dept of Ed when the Principal discovered that i am not certified. That morning i was at the Dept of Ed getting things out of the way. Needed Fingerprints, Fingerprints 100$, have no money, called my boy and borrowed what i needed// Took my required violence prevention and child abuse trainings online (75$)// Explained that i have my BA and have already passed all the state exams for certification (LAST, ATS-W, Content Specialty in Social Studies)....
Only to find out that i need Education Credits. After exploring all options i was forced to eat the fact that at this point i cannot afford to enroll in classes or even pay 70$ each for four or five CLEP tests to get those credits out the way. That afternoon i was at work to finish the day.
For a few weeks i fell back, just allowing myself to work and spend very frugal, before recommitting to Teaching, now accepting that i may just have to Sub for awhile while i get enough money up to pay for some Education credits so that i can teach every day. Substitute Teacher application: 50$.. TB test: We shall find out after my appointment on the 13th.

Im Hustling foreal!
I mean, i aint out to walk myself into a zombie state. But im filling my hours for the basics and falling behind in the mean, still reaching out for a break.. sending out my resume, kicking ass at interviews.
There aint no nigga in New York City doing it like me right now period!
I am the best at everything i do... and the first to realize that hits jack pot...
The longer it takes the closer i get to snatching that all up for myself, putting my name on it, and sharing it with The People!

This aint no fall back grind im questing.
I am on my way to changing the world.
So it will be a long one.
But Nadia smile. We were Written!



To my family
I love you and thank you for making it all possible

Thank you Ma, Lani, Grandma, Phil, Ben and Ann, Carlos, Juan y Luis
Thank you Gracie


I love you Nadia

The Night We Lost

.
..
...

Years had snuck us before them

anxious for our unbeaten warrior

my fear would adhere to tears for him

the night Miguel walked out

the ring off his knee


All were me, i was us

I knew in me Mi Gente

could trust because Miguel

had never given up, although

we'd all been on the floor before


Now we've all took a loss before

and i honestly never want

to see a fight again

after all the remorse that balled

tight on the chests Miguelito wept



To see him in such a hail of blows

blowing him down the rounds

weathering hell in a juracan

shocked in too cold a scope

to keep rooting on



That night i lost my innocense in

the sense i didn't want to believe it

till proven how peaks set to regress

around viejos who seen Sanchez/Benitez

reminding us we hadn't seen the best


The night we lost

escaped the arena and wanders

on from the celebration of victory...

Upon return we of Miguel's beginnings

shall be free of his vulnerability

Breaking the cycle: Domestic Abuse on my mind

In the last week i can count three very apparent incidences (in three consecutive days) of domestic violence that i have witnessed.

-Last Thursday my roomate and i went out to get a bite on the avenue when a bag flies across the pavement. I immediately turn my neck to the direction it came flying from to see an extremely aggressive man (tu sabe, one of those bald headed boriuas rocking a tank top with sun burn on his tatted shoulders; vein popping out of the neck with rage) holding his forearm to his woman's neck (against the storefront window of a Popeyes). >>He kept referring to some guy inside<<
Shame on me, i continued to walk. I was certainly disturbed, in almost a blank state, looking back and scanning a small crowd gathering. After a few paces i turned around and saw that the man from inside had come out swinging. It went wild from there.

-I spent friday night hanging out with a friend of mine in Staten Island. So we're having some beers, watching the game and talking when he gets a knock on the door. Now my boy's wife was out with her friend (at a club or lounge or something). It was the friend's man at the door. My boy lets him in and for the next couple of hours we are hosting this guy spilling his guts about how pissed he is over the fact that she continues to cheat on him although he pays all the bills and controls her credit -there actually is such thing as financial abuse-. Now we were feeling this brother, because lets be honest.. she IS cheating on him, and i do believe it is with a friend of his. This is in addition to what i hear have been several folks she's slept with within that circle alone! So im looking into this guys eye knowing his woman did such and such with a friend and a friend of a friend and...
But we didn't want him losing it on this girl on front of us right. So we're checking his head too, asking if he'd ever laid a hand on her, blahzay blahzay; asking what are some of the good things about their relationship and what the good times were like (i can't help it, im tree hugger as white gets on the de-escalation).
ANYWAY, this girl eventually returns with my boys wife and they begin arguing. He is demanding she leave with him but my boy and his wife intervened and wouldn't have it. From there a process began to try to cool things off before they left.

-Saturday after the Miguel Cotto fight im leaving my boys crib to my step-father's car when there is some shouting in the distant dark (it's about 1:30am). It was a man and woman. Sounded as if the man was in the street and the woman yelling from her porch or something. In any case the guy must have followed her back in because the shouting stopped for a minute. Then his mouth re-emerged trailing away with no response. I am sure he got to her in the house then bounced.


..........................................................................................................................................................................


After flatlining on Thursday's incident i felt really good to have done what i could to help de-escalate the incident on Friday. It was really a collaborative effort as my boy Ben and i kind of picked this guys brain and evaluated what he was capable of before acting.
Sunday night the Beasts were back at it again and of course i regret that i didn't in some way respond, although the drama was a yonder two or three blocks of the silent suburban air.
Thursday however, i will never forgive myself for.
A crowd had been developing, so had i had the presence of mind i would have realized there was some level of support there: "Perhaps if i got in they might feel empowered to do the same". Also, it seemed to be an emergancy situation, i mean, this guy was HEATED! Still, i preserved my male priveledge to walk my cold feet through the cowardace.

Yes there are drawbacks to intervening:
*** You don't know what this man's intent is or how crazy he is. He may be armed.

*** You are not from around here. What if you jump in, then get tagged by those around him who know grew up with this man?

*** She will only protect him and turn on you if you try doing the right thing (which she actually did when the man in the store came out to fight the asshole: she confronted him to keep away from her man)

It's a tough call. But i am pained in my stomach, in my heart. I have witnessed so much of this in my life. It is easily the most disgusting form of oppression i have been able to immediately recognize when occuring.



My mother was a battered woman. This means she was a battered daughter, a battered sister, a battered mother aside from being a battered wife. And although i was too young to remember the abuse (i remember flashes every once in awhile, i think my memory has tried to ommit these events to make me feel safe) years later i got a front row ticket to my father beating his second wife with a wooden board. I was about 11 and watching it through the two doorways that lead past a middle room and into his (railroad apartment).

And the last two neighbor apartments to that of my mother's in Staten Island have inhabited some really drastic incidents of domestic abuse. Every now and then i will spend a night there and just hear banging and screaming downstairs. The cops have been called countless times. One time my mom called the cops on them, and happend to be drunk and beligerant towards me as they were arriving, to which i reacted loud and even physical (she kept coming at me and i pushed her down on the couch) causing them to knock on OUR door (how ghetto is that?).
The house we lived in some years ago was OFF THE WALL! There was a young couple downstairs living with a baby. poor baby!

The shit absolutely haunts me.
And i am actually afraid that for everytime i have refrained from intervening in the past (which has caused me a thousand wounds to my pride)i will someday get a year of jail time, when i finally flip on some pendejo. I cross my fingers that doesn't happen as close to home as i've sometimes prepared myself to believe it might.



There are several problems when dealing with domestic abuse, but the main problem is denial. How can someone help themselves if they dont recognize, or refuse to accept that there is a problem.
Most women suffering abuse don't recognize the behavior as abusive. Whether physical, verbal, emotional, it normally creeps its way into a relationship after the couple has established a strong bond (and many times dependance on one another), which allows time for the person being abused to condition themselves to accept the behavior psychologically; whether they have to blame themselves or others, or simply downplay its effect on the relationship and their own sense of esteem.
Other times the abuse presents itself immediately, sometimes even before two begin dating, the abused may subject themselves to say verbal or emotional abuse, yet lack support systems at home and interpret the behavior as attention, and thus, love.

Many don't recognize the warning signs or just fail to accept their own value enough to understand that there is no reason their priorities/ wants/ needs cant come first without putting those of their partner first simultaneously. So a cycle begins whereby they abuse each other and deem it acceptable because:
"Well.. he hits me but i hit him too." Or "She tells me i cant go out but you shouldve been here the other night when i told her SHE couldnt leave"
____The reality is that two practices of abuse dont cancel one another out!


In any case im no expert on the issue
There is alot of research out there which you can access through google.
If you need resources or support i can always help you though(if you are reading this: Toneare@gmail.com) But for the sake of making this here rant informational i will list below some things to look out for that may be unhealthy:


-JEALOUS AND CONTROLLING
The jealous partner will ask about your wherabouts and will question who you are with and what you are doing. In the beginning, the recipient partner may feel that this jealous partner is simply showing his or her concern for their well-being. This type of partner is quite manipulative. The jealous and controlling partner will be able to manipulate situations to make the recipient partner feel guilty.
For example, if the recipient partner decides to hang out with friends and purchase something new for the event, the jealous and controlling partner may question why things of this sort are not done for him or her. He or she may then accuse the partner of trying to be with someone else.


-ISOLATING
The isolating partner does not want their companion to be around family or friends. The isolating partner tells their companion that he or she is all that they will "need". The isolating partner will convince or force them into thinking that there is no need for friends or family because he or she represents all these things and people to them. The isolating partner blames family members and friends for "causing trouble" in the relationship. They fear that family members and/or friends will try to influence their companion to the relationship. The reality is that the isolating partner's own insecurities serve as the underlying cause of his or her behavior.


-BLAMELESS
The blameless partner is never responsible for things that occur within the relationship. The blameless partner may lack social skills and or aspirations. The blameless partner also manipulates their partner as well as others around them for their failures and might say something like: "If you would have come with me yesterday, i wouldn't have gotten into trouble." The blameless partner does not take ownership for his or her own actions.

-EXTREMELY MOODY
The excessively moody partner will be very impulsive. One minute they are very happy, the next they are very angry. Usually the recipient partner does know how or when to respond to their partner's actions. Usually the recipient partner may be afraid of their moody partner because they don't know when the person might overreact or respond negatively towards them.


-VERBALLY ABUSIVE
The verbally abusive partner will try to berate their partner by any means necessary. Usually an abusive partner does so by using hurtful words. They may do so by insulting their partner's intellect or shortcomings. For example, they may call them stupid, dumb, worthless, retarded for not being able to answer questions correctly, or for simply misplacing something, etc. They will also try to attack their partner's self-esteem, the abusive partner would do so because with the time the recipient partner will internalize these comments and begin to believe them. Once the recipient partner has internalized their abusive partner's verbal abuse, it then becomes easier for the abusive partner to control and manipulate their partner's actions.


-VIOLENT
The violent partner uses physical force to obtain what they want. They can either threaten to use physical force or actually use physical force. The violent partner also breaks and destroys things as an outlet for anger and a means of intimidation. Physical force can include punching, hitting, biting, choking, or using blunt objects to strike their partner. The abusive partner feels the need to control and intimidate their partner. Some violent partners may immediately apologize after they have caused harm to their intimidated partner stating "It was a mistake" or that "They are sorry". For reasons ranging from emotional attachment to fear, individuals in a violent relationship may find it difficult to extract themselves from it.


..........................................................................................................................................................................


Domestic abuse breeds in a society where abuse thrives PERIOD. If we tolerate degradation amongst our friends, co-workers and associates, children, we tolerate a culture of emotional isolation.
We need to come together (at dinner tables, at church, at schools, at the park) and assess CRITICALLY, what types of relationships we have with one another and what adjustments can be made to share power over the dynamics these relationships are built on, and compromise for loving communication. COMMUNICATION is the word. Dialogue! Discipline over what one puts out, and consideration over what is taken in. All exchange for the sake of building trust and a freedom.
Easier said than done, I KNOW THIS!
I don't mean to be preachy, because i do have my own demons: ESPECIALLY on the topic of trust! But i am constantly recommitting myself to evaluating where i am at and improving.

We must finally take an oath to protect each other! And it must start within our own circles. We gotta stop being bitch and start confronting those we know are playing themselves and cultivating negative households where the children are exposed to this.
We must be open to recognizing and confronting these patterns, by not submerging these issues and vowing to remain open ears and eyes. By beginning to support those suffering in abusive relationships. Have get togethers, listen to music, cook for one another, plan retreats, shop, and talk! not about celebrity trash. Talk about where you are at in life and where you want to be, so far as happiness, strengths, weaknesses you are working on, personal, professional, memories and incidents that recently occured both negative and positive.

In our communities we don't always feel safe just calling the police. And when we do call often it is simply a quick intervention tactic which we dont wish to carry through, just to kind of cool things down. Often times we REALLY DO want to work things out, for things to change. That is only possible if we are willing to transform not only self but the lifestyles we find ourselves in, the culture of our social networks. Let's make loving one another an everyday object of our relationships with one another. A theme in all that we do.

We have gone through our zombie shit. Lets recognize it for what it was and leave it behind. You have drinking buddies? That all they are? Is that how far you value yourself that you would spend years having never explored such a topic like this because it would be interfearing with what?


knawimean??

let's exchange numbers

My Top 10: HIP HOP

Here's a fun idea!
I am going to come around every once in awhile just to set down top 10's.
The categories will range anywhere from sports to beverages; you name it!

This here post will be dedicated to my top 10 in Hiphop music. I will give 10 albums and 10 'entities'.

So head-first, why don't i just begin:



Tone.Are's 10 Greatest Hiphop Entities...

10. Live Performance:
The true spirit of HipHop music is LIVE! Live is as real as you can get: Show and Prove while we make this a get together. Friends will be made here, families will be made here, enemies will be made here, fun will be had, drama will be had.. but if you was here when it went down you were apart of something you can't experience anywhere else. Although there is alot of patronage in the industry, most new acts still break in live. The live scene is different wherever you go; exuding the culture/style of wherever it's going down.. and it is what keeps hiphop organically international.


9. The Freestyle Cipher:
So what keeps the music organic to the performer? Improvisation. Freestyling is not simply a test.. in fact it is best when it is stripped of competition (in my opinion); when it allows anyone coming into the cipher to be themselves, and to be comfortable enough to say whatever they want. It is that supportive environment that gives it its capacity to cultivate a spiritual climax when everyone is contributing at the top of their games. Some freestylers never feel the urge to write again!


8. Sampling:
James Brown, Parliament Funkadelic, Nina Simone, The Doors, Aerosmith... Where would Hiphop be without samples? Not only does it recycle old tunes, making them FRESHER if not simply reviving that good old feeling, but it ties the youth to the culture of their parents/ancestors. No other music is as historical/ intallectual as HipHop and that is due in part to sampling, whether by voice or beat. Till this day the newest rappers quote Rakim and till this day rappers crave a James Brown bassline.


7. Russel Simmons:
Russel Simmons is looked upon in both a positive and negative light in HipHop. He took it to the economic heights we see now. For this he is resented by some of the pioneers whom started the art and never saw a royalty check for doing so. He's also hated by those whom feel the 'HipHop Mogal' seeks to pimp the culture reguardless of whether or not integrity is lost. Yet nobody can deny that if it wasn't for this man people in Japan would not be break dancing (though KRS-1 might disagree), and we'd still be waiting to see HipHop's first millionaire. He broadened the industry and with that: dreams. Youth in the ghettos no longer simply want to be rappers.. they want to branch off into fragrance/fashion, and ownership. Every once in awhile he also treats us to a comedy or poetry series, and advocates for human and animal rights causes (even if mostly animal rights)


6. Hip Hop Fashion
Conscious rappers had to eventually give it up. Hiphop grew up in a dookie chain and addidas! All that ice and such is nothing new. Five years before Big was plugging Gucci Harlem was rocking it something crazy! The fashion has helped add an identity to the music and many lifestyles. African Medallians and crochet knitted hats included. Just think about the sneaker craze going on right now.. That's all Hiphop baby!


5. Hot 97:
Do they play themselves? Oh God Yes! Has their time passed? Yes. But that is not a good thing, because if Hot 97 is anything, it is a reflection of the music. And if the station everybody around the country knows as legend has turned wack, then we know what the music must be! Eventually smaller independant stations took root, and today you have MANY valuable stations on the airwaves, that do some amazing things. But what DIDNT go down on Hot 97 from the late 80's to the late 90's? And who WASNT listening? I believe it is STILL a platform for HipHop history. It just sucks i am not interested enough to hang around on the dial long enough to witness it every once in awhile.


4. The Mixtape:
The mixtape is truelly a cultural and industry phenomenon! You can be a lyricist looking to awe as many people as possible in hopes of a cameo on a big record, a hustle music group looking to be signed off street tales, or an Immortal Technique looking to start a movement. The mixtape is what you make it.. from the studio to the streets. It is all you really need! Not only is it an opportunity for rappers but is being used by the industry.. in fact it has saved Hiphop for almost 10 years now. The economy is bad and there isnt alot of money set aside for marketing. Getting on a mixtape will take care of that for you. Lox, 50 Cent, Lil Wayne... They all owe their careers to the mixtape!


3. Music Videos:
Video Music Box, MTV, BET. Most rappers would've never left the day job without the motivation of seeing their face fit their narcassistic flows. The music video changed America. It killed television (one of the reasons stations turned to reality shows. The younger generations abandoned television after Martin and In Living Color and began losing their remotes with the cable box stuck on channel 20 all day. Eventually the machine found a way to sneak ass into spring break and for all intent purposes it has become a medium for pg rated pornography and masochistic suburban white boys with nothing to do but swallow sh!t and break their nuts on banisters. But hey, we always have memory lane and an occasional WuTang Video from the 36 Chambers era!


2. The DJ
Origional Hiphop did not have an emcee as we know him/her. The role of the emcee up until like 1978 was to simply initiate some call and response, shout out a who's who list of names to be known, and to alert anyone who mightve needed to move their car that the fire truck was outside ready to run a hose through the windows.
The DJ has always been the true master of the ceremony. Everybody came to be with one another, and the excuse was the music. Ask Kool Herc.
Even today the DJ *and Producer (especially) holds reign, making more money than the rapper (on average), having the greater chance at longevity and more popular demand by artist peers. You rap? wanna make it? Find a Producer that is loyal to your vision... or scout various producers to rhyme over, bring a whollllee lot of weed to convince them you aint no herb that wont swim in the great network (who wants their name carried around by the 'on front of the PC' youtube rapper), and a couple of G's to drop for license to use his/her music.


1. The South Bronx:
Hip hop was born in the South Bronx. And it is the last place in which it will die. You have REAL like.. guardians of the art and culture here. Kats that swear by it, even if they dont do anything all day but walk to the store for cigarrettes and scratch their ass on the stoop. It's just in the air!
You want to really be apart of the HipHop Movement? Then you need to know the history
Kool Herc
Cedar Park
Zulu Nation
Afrika Bambatta
Grandmaster Flash
Rocksteady Crew
It all started in the Bronx. What are the 4 Elements of HipHop?
Breaking
DJ'ing
Rhyming
Graffiti

It started in the boogie and eventually spread round the world like wild fire. But first traveled NY , whether by apostles bringing the music downtown (Fab 5 Freddy) or the trains letting those all the Way in Coney Island know who was hot with the tag in Parkchester. Yes those days are long gone. But those days are forever.





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Tone.Are's 10 greatest HipHop albums:

10. The Love Below (Andre 3000)
HipHop purists are revoking my card for this one alone, only because they will want to know how i leave out any of their first three albums. Just the fact that i left Bigboi's SpeakerBoxx half of their 2003 opus will infuriate many. But recognize the impact of this album: It has been said that great artists destroy their art.. which is to say that they exceed expectations so much so that it changes the game! I don't believe The Love Below had that effect on HIPHOP.. but it did have that effect on Outkast. They have effectively destroyed themselves. How do you follow up on such an eclectic album? On this album we see Andre balance a sensuality and mystique speaking on love that even PRINCE would blush at. The songs are intricate and crafty not only as rhymes, but as an example of good song writing. By the same token he doesn't take himself too serious, throwing in quirky playful lines that flirt with your perception of what good hiphop should be: dead prolific, or fun prolific? It brought that element of funk back, reclaiming it from the west which used its sound but ignored its character. The production, like the sun's glare, is too tight to look directly at as well. It was that album which comes along once every decade, persuading hiphop heads to ask again: when is Tribe coming back?


9. The Black Album (Jay Z)
Oh NO! This is too much! NO!
How could he!
I know, i know, i hear yall. But i am right and yall are wrong. What about Reasonable Doubt right? or even The Blueprint?
Guess what: Reasonable Doubt wasn't an example for Hiphop.. Yes the production was nice but nothing different from what was going on 2 years earlier (R.D. was 1996 and basically had the sound of Ready to Die. Jay came with brilliant lyrics but they were a quick shot of sugar in comparison to what Illmatic delivered. So while i do think it is a 5 Mic album, it is not on my top 10)
The Blueprint had some GREAT hits and basically introduced Kanye. I would even say it brought back the Soul sound to HipHop's mainstream. But there were some weak joints on there: "hola hovito", "H to the Izzo"
The Black Album was Jay's crowning achievement. Listen to that record with this in mind: Nobody had ever gotten to the heights JayZ got to in the industry, and had rhymes that can honestly reflect where they were at the time (except for maybe Eminem). What do i mean by that?
Ok.. it is one thing to become a millionaire HipHop entrepeneur and still be writing like you are poor (Nas), or a ruthless thug (50 Cent).. It is another thing to invent a balance where you can talk about carrying your old lifestyle and street values with you BUT be operating like a business man. In the Black Album JAY Z IS who he is saying he is. And he is expressing the frustrations of being there alone at the top.

He channels mogal:
"You wanna be in the public it's in your budget/ alright fuck it, i aint budging"

He channels the contradiction of being a respected lyricist yet businessman who compromised his art for his bottom line:
"Music business hate me cause the industry aint make me/ hustlers and boosters embrace me and the music i be making/ i dumbed down for my audience and doubled my dollars/ they criticized me for it yet they all yelled holler// If skills sold truth be told, i'd probably be, lyrically Talib Kweli"


This is the most honest album that a Real power in the industry (dare i say gangsta) has ever written. It is not glorifying any excessive violence. Just journaling codes of the industry, which Jay made his Streets. He actually began this process on the Blueprint, where he writes such rhymes as:
"what's up to my miami and St Thomas connects/ I'll never mention your names, i promise respect/ Death before dishonor correct?" and "I'm like a dog, i never speak, but i understand"

It is clear we are listening to the Frank Sinatra of our time.


8. It Takes A Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back (Public Enemy)
Creating art in the U.S. is a tricky business. You do have the freedom to say an awful lot, but that doesn't mean that it is easy or that you have any less balls than somebody speaking out in say... Saudi Arabia! You have to give it up to Public Enemy for creating what at the time was a MOVEMENT of self and social consciousness. What Chuck D was saying was militant, and how he was saying it. His voice is recognizable as anyones, delivery powerful. Folks don't realize how an album like this transcends music. I mean, all of a sudden young people are wearing Africa on their shirts and Malcom X is becoming more celebrated than he was when he was alive!


7. Sound Bombing (Lyricist Lounge Vol. 2)
Have you ever heard a mixtape that comes close to matching the integrity of this album? NEVER! It really does stand alone.


6. Marshal Mathers LP (Eminem)
Like JayZ in The Black Album, Eminem in MMLP comes very naturally as whom he was at the time. 27? year old who made it to stardom and is dealing with it, in the industry, in the streets, (and what Jay, like most rappers actually left out: The family). It will always be one of the greatest because it will always be one of the most well known albums of any music genre. By the way, count me amongst the quire of folks who have a hard time agreeing that Eminem has ever made a 5 Mic album. Still there is no denying that the MMLP is a trailblazer. It gives us Paparazi anecdotes of modern history (Em is the new Elvis, with 100 times the pressure. Elvis wasn't challenged to be so open in his art) and the taboo struggles of poor white Americans and the dysfunctional families they are often reared in. In the mean time he sets himself apart from the industry, almost as if to say: "hold up.. i got blond hair and blue eyes but dont bunch me together with these looneys in the tabloids", dissing his celebrity peers and acknowledging his impact on the fans "Stan" (and by doing so, subconsciously revealing his guilt). It was not the first time anybody had rhymed in Iambic Pentameter (as he did in "The Way I am") or the first time anyone had rhymed vicariously through an invented character ("Stan") but for those whom for years avoided HipHop, thereby remaining ignorant about the artistry it had to offer, it was eye popping. It set a new bar for mainstream hiphop. Once again you needed to bring some level of skill.


5. Black Star (Mos Def & Talib Kweli)
The Black Star album was really the seed for the Spoken Word poetry explosion. These brothers brought the Cafe to your speakers with such songs as "self determination", "brown skin lady", and "Theves in the night". The album HipHops opus of high literature ("Respiration" with Common is the most poetic track in the history of HipHop) and 'conscious hiphop'. What's more it began the wave of artists going back to the old school. All of a sudden Missy was wearing an Addidas sweat suit. Mos and Talib made sure to be true to the origins of the art. They really wanted to revive Real HipHop, and made enough noise to work up a spark. The album just has a gritty/raw basement feel, that tells ANYONE they can do this, while inspiring us to do it for a reason. Soon Talib and Mos would go their separate ways, and till this day the question lingers about a second Black Star album.


4. Ready to Die (Notorious B.I.G.)
As much as i would like to sit here and give these zealous "BIG is the GOAT" fans 100 reasons (1 for every emcee that has more talent then BIG) why he isn't, i have to give it up to BIG for making "Ready To Die". As much as i would refrain from declairing that i relate to the lyrical content, i do feel a connection to this album. I guess it's a Brooklyn thing. But come on... Ready To Die made BIG HipHops first penthouse suite rapper. White couches, champaigne... ok, so maybe he wasn't living it like that, but the sh!t made you feel good. years later our youth would come up with an analogy to describe the feeling: "CRACK!" There is nothing like a BIG joint on a hot summer day on the stoop. Then the production (although poor in quality) was brilliant in the mood it gave the record. "Everyday Struggle", "Me and My Bitch".. this believe it or not, was the blues in 1993! BIG created the formula for a complete HipHop album attuned for the ears of mainstream radio and connected to the struggle. And whomever says he wasn't speaking consciousness should just continue reading their book. "Im seeing body after body, and our mayor Giuliani aint tryinna see a black man grow to John Gotti"
Damn! You just don't know till you let it tell you.


3. Ressurrection (Common Sense)
Right now Lil Wayne is the hottest rapper in the game. The skill that is his crutch right now? His wordplay. It may be hard to catch alot of what Common is saying on Ressurrection because the references he make are sometimes alternative to what we know, and almost always very subtle. I take some points away for the fact that alot of it IS simple. But nobody did it before Ressurection, so it didn't have to be so complex. Your father is your father. You can out do him a million ways; you still wouldn't be here without him! So yea since "I used to Love HER" everyone and their momma has used personification to rap about HipHop or guns, but Com gave birth to that concept. It will also boggle those who maybe haven't realized it when i tell them, but Common often fits several allusions into one series of bars, giving a rhyme different meanings depending on which word you are concentrating on.
example:
"A Mr. Meaner (Misdemeanor) fell on his knee for the jury/ I asked No for his ID (No ID was his producer) and the judge thought there was two of me// Motion for a recess to retest my finger prints/ They've relinquished since cause i was guilty in-a-sense (guilty innocense)//"

The album is also very introspective, giving rhymes about COMMON running with his crew, drinking and hanging out, growing up scared about having no future, questioning his identity and gaining an awareness of his Blackness:

"Its the same routine/ keep my room clean, im looking to do some new things, but aint shit to do/ im 22 (catch) in the prime of my life, got no time for a wife/ i stumble through the tunnel of darkness trying to find me some light// In the rim of darkness i too sing/ i may not be the darkest brother/ but i was always told act my age not my color/ not knowing that my color was that of the origional, so now i see the new negro spiritual//"

Of course he doesn't forget to put prospective battle emcees in check either! Com was vicious!


2. Illmatic (Nas)
I was all set to crown Illmatic #1 for the following reasons: The production is CRAZY! a step up from the simple boom bap rap before it, and much more complex and thought out than other sample heavy beats of the time. They were'nt lazy with it. Yes they sampled but didnt just stick a whole chorus in. They cut it up, sped it up, slowed it down, chopped it with some scratching. From an industry importance stand point, it was the first album which attempted to bring in a lineup of the most prolific producers to come together on one CD. You see how now in day an artist will have Kanye, Just Blaze, Timbaland, Dr. Dre, all on one album. Illmatic was the blueprint for that, bringing in some of the heavy hitters of the time. Before 1994 most rappers were loyal to one producer or team. Lyrically Nas was from outter space back then. Poetic, Educated, HARD, and with a flow that sunk into the track like an extra instrument. He brought global history and Philosophy "I sip the Dom P, watching Ghandi till i'm charged", "i start it up like a violin, end like leviathan/ it's deep well let me try again" and even history and philosophy from the local hoods of NY, often quoting 5% ideology and telling tales of big time dealers such as Alpo, and Fat Cat a decade before 50 Cent did the same thing. His metaphors were sick, his story telling countered Slick Rick's humor in a more morbid fashion, the honesty of his rhymes allowed him to explore concepts nobody has thought of since ("One Love" ends with a verse depicting Nas taking advice from a pre-teenaged brother mature beyond his years sitting with him on a bench and giving him advice about what to watch out for on the streets. (till this day quoted, and several times by JayZ: "suade tims on my feet make my cipher complete": Jayz: "S.Dots on my feet make my cipher complete", "Im out for presidents to represent me")

The album only had 10 tracks. But all 10 fitting their own mood perfectly while going together perfectly. The energy shifts back and forth between relaxed to intense like the gasses of a developing star expanding and contracting. Nas was waiting to break out. Legend has it that he recorded every song on the album in one take. ...And think about its impact. Yes kats like Kool G Rap and Kane had street gritty rhymes, but really didn't bring it to such an intallectual height. Thus Illmatic made Nas a pioneer in more than one sense. He became respected by the "thug rappers", and by the "conscious rappers". More poetically refined than Pac, more street than KRS.




1. Paid In Full (Eric B & Rakim)
So, "Paid In Full"! Are the beats kind of boring? yes. Very Simple and Very boring. Compared to the things rappers have put on a record since, do the lyrics stack up as boring: arguably so, yes! Very simple and Very boring.
BUT
As far as technique
It is the arrival of lyricism in HipHop. Before Rakim rhyming wasnt a science. But with Paid In Full he went beyond simply trying to rhyme the last word with one bar with the last word of the next bar. He created internal rhyme schemes which livened the melody. He would transition, like nobody before, between bars in a way which made you rewind and realize that somehow the line which came after the one you were dealing with, made just as much sense as the line which came before it (in combination).
example:
I like to stand in the crowd, and watch the people wonder "Damn!"
But think about it, then you'll understand
I'm just an addict, addicted to music
Maybe it's a habit, I gotta use it
Even if it's jazz or the quiet storm
I hook a beat up, convert it into hip-hop form
Write a rhyme in grafitti and, every show you see me in

So instead of just rhyming two lines and changing the topic, he would trap you in a whole paragraph. Like he himself said:

I start to think
and then i sink
into the paper like i was ink
when im writing im trapped inbetween the lines
i escape when i finish the rhyme

And we get trapped WITH him!
One reason? His use of a first person narrative. He is rhyming IN the moment, and it allows him to go into great detail about a moment. Things go in slow motion and you see it, feel it happen right on front of you!

Check him out sending a warning to competition:
you'll get fried in the end, when you pretend to be
competing, cause I just put your mind on pause
And I complete when, you compare my rhyme with yours
I wake you up and as I stare in your face you seem stunned
Remember me? The one you got your idea from
But soon you start to suffer, the tune'll get rougher
When you start to stutter, that's when you had enough of
biting it'll make you choke, you can't provoke
You can't cope, you shoulda broke, because I ain't no joke


His content on Paid In Full ranges from the circumstance of being broke and weighing the option between robbing or pursuing music (which is a common theme till today), Moving the crowd and getting the party hopping (It may seem weird, but they actually used to play these joints in the club, like it was the hottest shit out), to hyping up his ability to destroy competition.

What makes him most influencial is how HONEST his rhymes are!
No sensationalism in the actual content. Yes he used hyperbolie in like exaggerating how great he was, but he never LIED about his lifestyle.
His image was stripped down to the bone. He was just an emcee that could rock the mic. Wore heavy chains and gucci but didnt rhyme about it.
So in essence he is the stripped down, bare bones foundation of any lyricist.
In SOME way if you rhyme, you are influenced by Paid in Full.
That's just a fact!


Top 10 HipHop Acts (in no order):

Dr Dre (Production, Industry Prowess)
Timbaland (Production, Industry Prowess)
The Roots (live performance, music composition, lyricism)
Rakim (Technical ability (seminal), live performance, image pioneer, concepts)
Nas (lyricism, flow, lyrical concepts)
Jay Z (Industry pioneer, Lyricism, one of the most consistant hit makers)
Wu Tang Clan (seminal group structure/ contract, image, performance, longevity)
Kanye West (Delivery, flow, concepts and lyrical content appeal, PRODUCTION)
KRS-1 (Live performance, lyrical content & concepts, longevity)
Tupac (song writing, image impact, voice, delivery, work ethic, common appeal)
.
.
.
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MY CLIFF HANGER FOR THIS POST:

WHO ARE THE 10 GREATEST HIPHOP ARTISTS OF ALL TIME?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?.
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.
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Police State

Make no mistakes about it:
During this day in history
We are living in a police state!

I am really not inspired to kick this blog off anymore eloquently.
It's just a point blank reality. I've felt compelled to write this blog for weeks now, after hearing that a case involving a homeless Guatemalan Immigrant (Rene Javier Perez) from Westchester County whom was driven by a cop to a desolate area out of town where he was subsaquently found dead with damage to the body, resulted in an aquittal of the ova'seer. And there was a difference of about a week between that case and the recorded beating of 3 men wrongly identified and dragged of a car by 15 cops in Philadelphia. These incidents following the notorious aquittal of the cowards who murdered Sean Bell.

Today again we who advocate (sometimes unpopularly) for social justice, and the community at large are assaulted by a ruling which should keep us all from feeling secure under the protection of the law. A grand jury finds innocent an off duty officer, driving drunk when he shot the passanger of a car riding parallel to his on the highway, for configuring HIS FINGERS into the bang bang shape of a gun! No weapons found, officer leaves scene and for a short while doesn't report himself, and refuses a breathalizer test when he does! WHERE ARE THE COURTS???
It is not an issue of whether pointing your fingers (thumb and index shaped as a gun) at somebody is a smart move, it is about procedure and sense on behalf of the cop and upholding accountability by the courts. That officer very well may have been a regular citizen (he was in plain clothes; the victim didn't know!) So had it been a regular citizen who shot him would that murderer be on the street right now?
no!


To make matters more intense a story on the next page reports how the NYPD, after being mandated by the courts to release information about stops and frisks (at record highs right now), such info as race, gender and age of those stopped... HAVE REFUSED, and are appealing the decision, claiming 'law enforcement priveledges'. ???WTF???
First off this isn't Iraq! So don't tell me all of a sudden releasing statistics about for example: the percent of 'minorities' stopped and frisked by police, is a threat to security! Secondly, you vow to wear a PUBLIC SERVANT uniform you give up anytype of 'priveledge' not enjoyed by eeevvvveryybody else!
I shouldn't even have addressed these with an assertion. Just sit on the questions i have posed.

Then you have incidents going on in the precints (which have always gone on but) that are seeing the light of day. Some months back a middle aged white woman is straight pounded into a pool of blood. Yes she bickers a bit and pulls away from the cop but he proceeds to cuff her and then REALLY begins his abuse thereafter, tackling her to the ground (and she must have weighed about 80 pounds less than him) and proceeding to fuck her up. Just two weeks ago it happend again with a Black Male Teen who was cuffed and began to squirm. The officer slams him into the cinder block wall, effectively knocking him out cold.
Again... not an issue of whether it is the smartest idea to try and wiggle your way out of a cops handle while you are IN custody; but about procedure! I'm sure the officer hand book does not state: "If given a hard time: slam into cinder block wall". How about trying to neutralize the individual with a more secure grip before throwing him or her around (ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT PERSON IS HALF YOUR SIZE). In a third video (seen below) you will witness an officer telling a hispanic male to learn english, then asking him to get off of the floor. When the man in custody refuses to get up (once again he is cuffed), the officer gets down and starts punching him in the face.


Go on Youtube and type in police brutality and see how many of these fools are being exposed 'doing their job' with a night stick or the tip of their shoe! It is horrendous! And of course it is not only in New York. In Puerto Rico (And you can get this on Youtube -see below- ) a cop literally shot a man in the middle of a crowded street AFTER a struggle: small struggle, cop gets man off of him, cop is pissed off and shoots the guy three times in the head!.

This blog is headed by a video most might find quite funny. It is a kind of petty police brutality incident, but is scary when you consider how young folks cant even enjoy a bit of skateboard freedom without being harrassed. Granted, maybe it was a place off limits for any type of riding for the safety of park goers. But come on! There is a professional, responsible way to do things, and because you are an officer, though you might perceive it the only part of your job you get to enjoy, you do not have the right to aggitate people by whispering demeaning shit while you are making an arrest. Simply make the fucking arrest! I can remember smoking weed in the park once and putting it out when we saw a cop van rolling up. They stopped and asked what we were doing in the park. They stood there awhile asking questions and before they left the one in the passenger side asked me if he'd seen me around before and i answered no (said i looked familiar); the guy in the drivers seat made a final comment before they drove off: "I think he's gay"

lol
WtF???
WOW

How low a former jock will sink! I can only imagine what might have happened had i responded. You can be sure that whatever might've happend, the police report wouldn't have reflected the truth!





^Puerto Rico: Cop shoots citizen on front of a crowd.





^White woman beat while in custody.





^Older Black woman is driving and gets pulled over, dragged out while her seatbelt is still on and pinned to the floor under this jerks knee.





^Young teen in custody is slammed against a wall for squirming in an officers hands.




^"Learn some more english!" a cop tells a man in a cell before punching him in the face repeatedly when the prisoner replies "fuck you!"





***Peace to RODSTARZ and G1, who were arrested for confronting cops they found mistreating a street vendor selling fruit and veggitables on Southern Blvd., and since have become victims of bizzare incidents of harrassment and intimidation***

REMEMBER/ KNOW THIS

It is your RIGHT and i would even proclaim RESPONSIBILITY to report police abuse in any manner: physical, verbal, intimidation, etc. You are within your rights and i urge you to use your cell phone to film arrests. This may be intimidating, but if you are in a crowd, you can always make like you are dialing a number, putting it to your ear, and then putting it before your face like you are reading a text, all the while recording it IF YOU DONT FEEL SAFE. But once again, there is no need to do all that.. you can have a giant lens on front of your face, they can only tell you to back up a certain distance but cannot stop you from filming.

You are also entitled to have the officers badge number. They MUST give it to you. If you see a peculiar arrest take badge numbers, or if you yourself are being arrested and there is somebody around you may ask that that person take down the badge number.

Police Brutality is REAL
and it is an epidemic ESPECIALLY in low income areas of color
where cops from the suburbs are sent out to, often baring anomosity because of their beliefs on immigration for example, or simply their racism. This includes black and latino cops who often patrol these areas looking down on their own kind because they might have been afforded some level of priveledge enough to get out of the hood and forget about the positives, having forgotten about places they'd been offered to stay when the lights went out or meals they were blessed with when shit couldnt stretch to the end of the month.


shame