Hoping You Can Read This Letter

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Dear Abraham,


I am writing in hopes that you are receiving this letter in the highest state in spirit and emotion/ in being. Please forgive me if in anyway this letter doesn't receive you in the loving, respectful manner i intend it. For, you and i have never met but i cannot say that i do not know you. Having read a little about your life and your decision to stop the world, in many ways throughout my many days i feel i can relate; in many ways we were two of a kind.

Our existance is so complicated; so complex yet so simple. I cannot find a word for how to express it, but i do feel we are all connected reguardless of the fact that we live our lives respective of one another. So i sit here at this very moment crying for what i don't understand yet understand perfectly.. wishing there was something i could have done so that you knew there was someone like me, like you, out there_if only that would have made a difference.

In one of your messages to the world you wrote how you were the type of person whom would do anything for a friend, and you offer to speak at ANYtime of day, whether it be daylight or in the wee hours of early morning, should they need someone to talk to. I know in my case, i can honestly say that had i known you personally i would have loved to take you up on that offer, although, i don't know if i would have... and i am sure you understand; because like i said we are two of a kind, and while our kind yearns for the touch, we struggle letting anyone near; we have so much to deal with within ourself!

That message will haunt your loved ones till their last day, and if even for a moment it will tap into us others, to process and sit on. And hey, maybe it will/has even inspired many to go and give someone they haven't spoken to in awhile the call they needed to receive! But nobody will ever be able to get over the fact that such a loving giving person as yourself disallowed your physical to move into another day, because you couldn't stand feeling so cold, and we, whether we knew it or not, denied you the warmth you so needed, and that we were so capeable of giving.

It may sound sac-religeous, but you died like Jesus did. You did!
The masses were gathered for your final moment, each one of them precious
in blood and in name! Yet because they had never discovered they had your unique kind of love
they arrived there eager to carry on in the most horrid, beastly essence of the bottom of our being; for we are also capeable of being so cruel.
I know you forgive them. Some condemn you for 'wanting attention'. They have grown so cold in this inhumane world that to them this has become a dirty thing. Don't we all deserve 'attention'?
Some insult your intelligence by invoking other avenues you could have taken
in dealing, while rambling through table conversations with the same
lack of compassion which moved you to where you are!
Moved you, for many days, unwillingly, until
you could no longer tell the difference
between your direction towards fate; and the assumed normalcy of standing in place!

When i peeped your myspace page last week you appeared to me to be a very active, well liked young man. You had pictures of you with many friends and dancing music backing the party-like ambiance you had set for people to receive you when they came to your page. Who would have known you were so lonely?
That was something like a week ago, but you have stayed on my mind brother and so i had to go back. And in doing so i found that some of your loved ones had created a memorial page for you. It is beautiful!

Now you know! You know how people feel about you, reguardless of how hard it may be able to accept it with them not showing it. Perhaps folks imagine that from where you rest some of those showing remorse are liars and really showed no real interest in you in the bit while you were here. But i know you forgive that.. i know that at this point you understand. That in fact not everyone is as blessed as you were when you were here.. to understand their ability to love and the value of such love and unconditional concern for another. I know you forgive them. Because i know from up there it is easier to see
that we in fact are all connected! And though it took you the sad tragic road to get to the place where you know and you feel like you matter, you are now getting to know that and to feel that. And that is fine.. that is ok brother, that is alright. So implies each one of the prayers you are receiving.



Thank you for giving your life
so that i could reflect and rejoice
on this day

Love,
Tony